No Pit Too Deep

I felt like the most pitiful scum. I couldn't look at a woman without being consumed with sexual thoughts and desires. I avoided looking at people but that changed nothing. My sin even haunted my dreams. I was so full of shame, so full of sin that I left myself to rot in my room. I didn't deserve the light of day. As wretched as I felt, I continued in my sin. I wanted to pray but how could I ask a Holy God for forgiveness after what I had done? Why would he listen to me? It would be of no avail I thought, so I went to bed a dejected sinner and I awoke a dejected sinner.

When I thought my sin could get no worse, it did. I began to lust after darker aspects. I was as close to hell as I ever want to get. I truly felt that if I could forfeit my salvation, that I had. But by the mercy and grace of God, Christ will never forfeit his love for his sheep. (He) is a most faithful shepherd who will not abandon his sheep to the wolf, the jagged edges of rocks, or the sting of death. Although I had left the (flock), Christ pursued me even to the depths I had ventured.

The turning point in my life was when Christ made his love perfectly clear to me. Through support from family and friends, I began to turn to the one person I had ignored all this time to seek salvation from the filth of pornography. I began to pray. God began to heal. I began to read the Word. God began to convict. I confessed my sins. God forgave.
(My Confession, February 26, 2008, 4:07 PM)

My sheep hear my voice, and I know them, and they follow me. I give them eternal life, and they will never perish, and no one will snatch them out of my hand. My Father, who has given them to me, is greater than all, and no one is able to snatch them out of the Father's hand.
(John 10:27-29)

What do you think? If a man has a hundred sheep, and one of them has gone astray, does he not leave the ninety-nine on the mountains and go in search of the one that went astray? And if he finds it, truly, I say to you, he rejoices over it more than over the ninety-nine that never went astray. So it is not the will of my Father who is in heaven that one of these little ones should perish.
(Matthew 18:12-14)

What man of you, having a hundred sheep, if he has lost one of them, does not leave the ninety-nine in the open country, and go after the one that is lost, until he finds it? And when he has found it, he lays it on his shoulders, rejoicing. And when he comes home, he calls together his friends and his neighbors, saying to them, "Rejoice with me, for I have found my sheep that was lost." Just so, I tell you, there will be more joy in heaven over one sinner who repents than over ninety-nine righteous persons who need no repentance.
(Luke 15:4-7)

You find yourself at the bottom of a bottomless pit. You look up, and all you can see is a faint speckle of light. You are surrounded by blackness so thick you can almost taste it tainting your every breath. It seems to be infecting your lungs, your heart, and your brain. There are no fumes. No chemicals. Just a vile, putrid, polluted blackness. You're breathing it in, but you're not breathing it out. It is perculating in the chasms of your heart and your mind. The more you breath it in, the darker and thicker the blackness surrounding you becomes.

You look back up, and the faint speckle of light, the only remnant of hope, is barely a speck of dust anymore. How could I have ventured down this far? You wonder how your curiosity gave birth to an insatiable climb further and further down into the pit. It looked dark, it looked unexplored, it looked like fun. You climbed ten feet down, and then you needed to climb another twenty. Before you knew it, you were too far down. You couldn't climb out. Rather than crying out for help, you ventured further and further down. Now look at you. You seem to have hit rock bottom. Then again, you thought you had hit rock bottom months ago. You cannot imagine going any further down into the pit of pits before the speck of light completely fades away.

You once held onto hope that someone would come searching for you. You looked up constantly, but there was no hopeful silhouette in the light. Reality set in a while ago. You might see someone looking down into the pit, but they can't see you. You tried to scream once, but nobody heard you. You were chocked by the blackness. You were suffocated by the darkness. Your cry for help was to no avail. Nobody heard you. Not even you could hear the sounds you mustered.

There's no hope of climbing out on your own, so you keep climbing deeper and deeper into the pit. You have been in the darkness for so long that you fear that you have become one with the darkness that surrounds you. You put your hand before your eyes, but you can't see anything. You begin to feel like the darkness around you is alive, that it has lured you into its trap, and it is slowly consuming you, body and soul.

You look back up at the speck of light and feel a quick rush of hope. There's still hope. You keep telling yourself that there is still hope. It doesn't take long for your hopefulness to become hopelessness. Who am I kidding?

You're not kidding yourself anymore. You stop looking at the speck of light. You stop reminding yourself of where you came from. You stop focusing on the light and you find yourself completely consumed with the darkness. It's cold, it's damp, and it permeates every part of you. Your hunger is replaced with an unsatisfying contentment with feasting on blackness. Your thirst is replaced with the quench of depravity.

This is death, but it's not. You're miserable. You're all alone. You brought yourself to this lowest of lows. You said it would only be ten feet, but before you knew it, you found yourself too far consumed by the pit to pull yourself back out again. You wanted to stop going deeper, but when you stopped climbing down you only seemed to slip and fall. You're so deep in the pit, you've been falling for so long, that you don't know if you're still falling or if your just standing on the bottom. You feel suspended in darkness. You feel one with your surroundings. You have become the pit. You're lost, and no body is looking for you. Hope only causes hopelessness. There is light, but it is so small. There is hope but it is so far out of reach that everything seems hopeless.

Then you hear a whisper. It's not faint. It's very clear. It's strong. It's powerful. It's a whisper, but it is not quiet. It's soothing. It's invigorating. It's your name.

You look around, but you still can't see anything. You desperately search for the origin of the whisper, but the darkness is still too thick. A warmth flows through your body. The whisper seems to have spoken the breath of life into you. You feel your body withdrawing from the darkness. The cold, damp air looses its sting. Its touch is unattached. You no longer feel suspended in darkness. You feel embraced. You feel like you are being carried. You test the darkness by placing your hand before your eyes. Not only do you see your hand, but there is something written on it: The Lord's.

You look up and find the speck of light has grown significantly larger. You feel as if you are being lifted up on eagles' wings. Somebody is saving you from the pit.

You look back down, and the darkness seems to have come alive and is chasing after its prey. It latches on to your ankle, but as tightly as it clings to you, the one carrying you has a firm grip on you. Although you feel darkness clinging to you, you feel secure in the grasp of him carrying you. You rest secure, knowing that you are finally being held by someone who will never let you go. You're safe. You're saved.

The darkness has given up. It cannot snatch you up from your savior's grip. You watch as the darkness turns into an all-consuming throat that desires to swallow you both up in one last desperate act. As you draw closer and closer to the light, the darkness begins to dissipate. The once brazen darkness begins to shudder violently as it begins to recognize that it is being swallowed up by the light. It's trap has turn into a trap that will now consume it. You watch as the darkness becomes a speck of dust before death is swallowed up forever.

Radiant, glorious light surrounds you. You are let down from your Savior's shoulders. You finally see His face, and it shines brighter than any light you have ever seen. You look at His face and instantly fear being consumed by His glory, but He smiles at you. You hear His voice again. His precious voice whispers your name again.

"You were lost, but you are now found."

An innumerable host of creatures that perfectly reflect your Savior's glory raise their beautiful voices together praising Him who saved you.

"But Lord, how did you find me? How did you know where to look? I thought I was surely lost. I that I had gone too deep into the pit for anyone to find me."

"I am sure that neither death nor life, nor angels nor rulers, nor things present nor things to come, nor powers, nor height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate (you) from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord."

"I went down to the land whose bars closed upon me forever; yet you brought up my life from the pit, O LORD my God."

"Grace was given to each one of (you) according to the measure of Christ's gift. Therefore it says, 'When he ascended on high he led a host of captives, and he gave gifts to men.' (In saying, 'He ascended,' what does it mean but that he had also descended into the lower regions, the earth? He who descended is the one who also ascended far above all the heavens, that he might fill all things.)"

All we like sheep have gone astray; we have turned--every one--to his own way; and the LORD has laid on him the iniquity of us all. He was oppressed, and he was afflicted, yet he opened not his mouth; like a lamb that is led to the slaughter, and like a sheep that before its shearers is silent, so he opened not his mouth. By oppression and judgment he was taken away; and as for his generation, who considered that he was cut off out of the land of the living, stricken for the transgression of my people? And they made his grave with the wicked and with a rich man in his death, although he had done no violence, and there was no deceit in his mouth. Yet it was the will of the LORD to crush him; he has put him to grief; when his soul makes an offering for guilt, he shall see his offspring; he shall prolong his days; the will of the LORD shall prosper in his hand. Out of the anguish of his soul he shall see and be satisfied; by his knowledge shall the righteous one, my servant, make many to be accounted righteous, and he shall bear their iniquities. Therefore I will divide him a portion with the many, and he shall divide the spoil with the strong, because he poured out his soul to death and was numbered with the transgressors; yet he bore the sin of many, and makes intercession for the transgressors.
(Isaiah 53:6-12)

There is no pit too deep to keep Christ from rescuing you from it. He has descended into the deepest depths of the bottomless pit so that we may be carried out upon His shoulders as a group of captives being led to freedom. There is no sin too heinous, too dispicable, too vile, too dark, too horrifying that Christ's precious blood is not sufficient for its forgiveness. Christ makes intercession for transgressors. Christ died for the ungodly. Christ died for sinners. He leaves the 99 sheep who never strayed to search for the one sheep that has left the flock. He descended to the grave so that He could bear you out of the pit on eagles' wings. No pit too deep. Never forget.

Send out your light and your truth; let them lead me; let them bring me to your holy hill and to your dwelling! Then I will go to the altar of God, to God my exceeding joy, and I will praise you with the lyre, O God, my God. Why are you cast down, O my soul, and why are you in turmoil within me? Hope in God; for I shall again praise him, my salvation and my God.
(Psalms 43:3-5)

If you are struggling with pornography or know somebody that is and you found this blog helpful, uplifting, and encouraging, then please visit my Facebook page for further resources and discussion. If you would like to contact  me, feel free to message me through my Facebook page as well. I am literally a click away. I would love to know who you are and keep you in my prayers. Thanks.