So to keep me from becoming conceited because of the surpassing greatness of the revelations, a thorn was given me in the flesh, a messenger of Satan to harass me, to keep me from becoming conceited. Three times I pleaded with the Lord about this, that it should leave me. But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me. For the sake of Christ, then, I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and calamities. For when I am weak, then I am strong. (2 Corinthians 12:7-10)
I'm going to take a quick break from the narrative, and fast-forward briefly to present circumstances. This blog is not merely intended to be a confession of the past, but also to serve as a confessional of the present. The main purpose is to be honest and upfront about the struggles that I face living a new life in Christ and sharing those struggles with whomever desires to keep reading.
On many occasions, I have witnessed a group mentality where everyone recognizes a problem but no one speaks about it, and therefore everyone in the group is hurt silently together. One example of this problem that comes to mind is when a group of Christian friends go to see a movie together. They go to the movie blindly opening night, not knowing what to expect, but the movie is the highly anticipated blockbuster of the year. They all buy popcorn and soda, sit together in the best seats, and buckle down for a great movie experience. Within the first twenty minutes of the movie, every single individual in the row of Christian friends is troubled by the movie. Whether it is the language, the violence, the suggestive material, or the nudity. Each individual Christian, if they were watching the movie alone, would have turned the movie off and found a better use of their time. However, as a group, they collectively continue to sit through the terrible movie, and no one person is willing to get up and walk out, so they all continue to sit and feel miserable.
It is a brief and small example of a bigger problem. The problem, I believe, is much larger than a group of Christian friends watching a terrible movie together. What if everyone in the church is secretly miserable about something, each individual has their own problem that they're dealing with, and each Christian feels like they have to put on a show around others because nobody is brave enough to go out on a limb and be honest with everyone?
Consider another example. It is your tenth high school reunion, and all of your high school friends are attending. Everyone is married, has kids, graduated college, and have successful jobs. You cannot wait to catch up with everyone, and introduce everyone to your wife. As you interact with everyone at the reunion, you act like you're having a great time, but in your head, you just wish you were as happy as all these people around you seem to be. They seem to love their jobs, love the direction their lives are going, and they don't seem to have a care in the world. You're mostly happy about where your future seems to be headed, but you act more satisfied with current circumstances than you really are. You go home that night feeling like you put on a performance for your high school friends because you didn't want to seem like the only person that wasn't entirely comfortable about life, but in reality, everyone goes home feeling the exact same way you do, most likely.
Transparency is something we laud in non-profit organizations and politics, but we avoid it like the plague sometimes within our closest circles, especially at church. I don't know how many times I have gone to church on a Sunday morning feeling miserable, but everyone at church is none the wiser that I am really, honestly struggling. Throughout the three years of our marriage, I have been amazed at some of the performances my wife and I have put on in public gatherings. I am sure many married couples can attest to their moonlighting as great actors when conflict is ill-timed before a social gathering. You drive to the event without speaking, you arrive to the host's home and you both take a deep breath, you act chipper and happy as you interact with fellow guests, and you get home late at night and pick up where you left off, miserable.
Christians are happy people. Is that statement accurate? Undoubtedly, we can find joy in the worst of circumstances because of the comfort of the Holy Spirit in Jesus Christ and the love of our Heavenly Father, but to say that we are always happy is a farce. Perhaps a better statement is Christians act like happy people. Christians are not always happy, but I fear we can act happy almost all of the time. So, why do we act happy when we're really not?
I immensely love everyone that I worship with on a weekly basis. I love to see their bright and exuberant smiles Sunday morning as they arrive one by one to make a joyful noise before the Lord and listen to the Gospel preached. I have no doubt that almost all of them are genuinely happy to worship God and fellowship with the saints. However, the fellowship does not always seem as genuine as it should, and I am one to admit that I am as guilty as anyone else for having perpetuated the problem.
Everyone had a rough and tough week. You could see it in people's eyes and you could hear it on the undercurrent of their laughs. You almost get the sense that every time they laugh they truly want to cry. They are happy to be amongst friends, and even happier to be with like-minded brothers and sisters in Christ. They are happy to be rejuvenated by the means of grace and the preaching of the Word. They are in the midst of friends, family, and people that they can truly trust and turn to for comfort.
How are you doing?
Fine, and how are you?
Doing well, thank you. Did you have a good week?
It was a bit hectic and difficult at times, but it was good. How about you?
Yeah, for the most part...
We all know the conversation. We're not ashamed to admit that we struggled, but somehow the week always seems to end just fine.
As a group, Christians are known for being a happy people, and I don't see anything wrong with that. Of all peoples, we truly have something to rejoice and be happy about. We are a redeemed people. We are a people being sanctified by the Holy Spirit, united to Christ Jesus, and adopted as children of the Almighty God. What is there not to be happy about? But every Christian should not hesitate to admit that we struggle with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and calamities. This sinful world rocks our boat as much as it does everybody else's. But for some reason, we're ashamed to admit our weaknesses as a group and we're suffering as individuals for doing so.
Imagine this conversation Sunday morning:
Hello! So good to see you! How did your week go?
Quite honestly, it was miserable. I'm really struggling, right now. The bills continue to pile up, my wife is fearing the worst, I search and search and search, but I can't seem to find work. It took all the strength I could muster to get dressed and come to church today because I'm really struggling with some doubts right now, and I fear no one is going to be sympathetic but they're going to just keep telling me, "Keep trusting in the Lord." I know God is in control of my unemployment situation, but everything seems to be completely out of control, right now. I know God is trying to teach me to trust in Him through this trial, but I fear my faith is waning rather than growing. I'd love counseling, but I don't want to bother the pastor because his plate is full already. I don't want to be a bother to anybody. I feel like I just need to read Matthew 6:31-34 more and pray pray pray. I'm sorry to unload on you like this, but I can't pretend to be happy any more. I really need some help.
Oh, I am so sorry to hear about that. It looks like the service is about to begin, so I better get seated. I hope that you find the sermon uplifting. I'll certainly keep you in my prayers.
Imagine greeting everyone on Sunday morning and someone replying, "Good morning? I wish." We'd be shocked. Would we follow up? As a group (or maybe I should say as a church), we don't expect people at church to be honest about how they're feeling or doing. Sure, we ask each other all the time, but do we really expect to hear the truth? Do we really want to hear the truth? Quite honestly, at my church, I have no doubts that everyone would react very appropriately if someone were to be blatantly honest with feeling overwhelmed with hardships in their life. I can't foresee anyone shying away from having the difficult conversation with me when I am feeling overwhelmed, but I'm still unwilling to have the conversation with anyone. Are you too?
We've all had conversations at church where we can tell our conversation partner is not being forward and honest about their situation. Every husband sees through the "fine" answer when we ask our wives how they are doing and they are everything but fine. As Christians, we're more in-tune with the struggles each of us faces on a week to week basis because we're all struggling with many of the same things. If you're unemployed for a month, we know you're stressing out and finding it difficult to believe the Lord will provide. If you're due date has come and gone two weeks ago, we know that you're sick and tired of being pregnant and beginning to doubt how much of a blessing this child truly is. If you've been evacuated from your home for a week due to a large fire and have had no word on the status of your home, we know that you're struggling to find complete rest in the Lord and placing your treasure in Heaven. Honestly, I believe we are prepared for the worst when we ask you how your week went. We don't want to hear "fine." We want you to be honest. We don't want you to act like nothing is wrong. We don't want you to put a smile on and laugh when you really want to break down and sob. We want to comfort you, but, you never give us the chance.
We've all been in the position where we want someone to tell us how they truly feel and we've all been in the position where we want to tell someone how we truly feel. In both positions, we cop out. We accept the false response, and we make the false response. We don't want to be transparent and we don't want to advocate transparency. We're all a little more comfortable not knowing about some of the heartbreak surrounding us in the pews at church, and we're all a little more comfortable putting a smile on and acting like everything is zip-a-de-do-da okay.
My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness. The Lord's power is made perfect in weakness. As Christians, we are subject to weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and calamities for Christ's sake. When we are weak, we are strong. At your weakest point, everything is out of your control and completely in God's hands. When you reach that breaking point you fall to your knees, your will crumbles, you burst into tears, and you cry out, "God, I have done all I can to no avail. You, and you alone, are in control of this situation. Help me, Father, because if you do not then there truly is no hope!"
On 2 Cor. 12:10, John Calvin eloquently writes:
"'The more deficiency there is in me, so much the more liberally does the Lord, from his strength, supply me with whatever he sees to be needful for me.' For the fortitude of philosophers is nothing else than contumacy, or rather a mad enthusiasm, such as fanatics are accustomed to have. 'If a man is desirous to be truly strong, let him not refuse to be at the same time weak. Let him,' I say, 'be weak in himself that he may be strong in the Lord' (Eph. 6:10)."
After all of Paul's boasting, he does not hesitate to relate to us that he too struggles. He too must struggle with a thorn in his flesh so that he too might fully rely upon the perfect power of Christ made evident through his weaknesses. Even as an Apostle, Paul is not immune to weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and calamities. Even Paul pleaded with the Lord to be rid of the thorn in his flesh, but yet the thorn remained. Once. Twice. Three times Paul prayed, but the only response he received was, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness."
Perhaps my observations of the church today are misguided, but I fear weakness is not applauded in Christian circles. We want spiritual leadership, prayer warriors, and members who stand steadily upon the Rock. When the going gets tough, Christians are expected to keep going. The world can throw whatever wrench they want into our cogs, but we're a well-oiled machine, and it will take more than that to depress our spirits. That's the image we want to publish on the poster, at least. In reality, we all come home after church and we feel miserable still. We want to let our brothers and sisters in Christ know that we are truly struggling, but we don't want to be an exception to the rule. We don't want to be that one Christian who sees the rest of the troops marching while we're left crawling amidst the ranks. We act like Jesus words were, "My grace is sufficient for you, so my power is made evident through a perfect lack of weakness." Those, however, are not Jesus' words.
I'm going out on a limb, here. In no way do I want to act as if I am not a perpetrator of the problems I have herein outlined. I am as guilty as everyone else. I have acted like I am unfazed by life's struggles while surrounded by God's people who are anxiously awaiting an opportunity to comfort me. I have copped out of digging further when I notice that my brothers and sisters in Christ are struggling but I don't want to invade their privacy. I am a perpetrator of making Christianity the "happy" religion rather than taking Christ's words to heart and realizing that He is telling us it is okay to be weak, it is okay to struggle, it is okay to feel overwhelmed with hardships because His power is made perfect in our weakness.
In conclusion, I fear that Christians are not being honest about themselves and we're not being honest with the world about the power of Jesus Christ. Our weakness demonstrates the power of Jesus Christ in our lives. Our faith in Christ does not make us immune to suffering. Our faith in Jesus does not allow us to be happy 24/7, living carefree lives. Our Lord and Savior does not place a bubble around His people so that we can remain unfazed while the world and the people in it struggle with the destructive effects of sin.
Our faith, rather, enables us to see that Jesus is God, but that He is also man. Our faith allows us to see that Jesus struggled with every hardship we ever will, and therefore, know that God does not look down upon weakness but personally experienced it Himself. Our Lord and Savior is no stranger to pain, suffering, grief, and weakness. It is not outside of Him, but He became man so that He could know our weaknesses intimately. Bearing our ultimate weakness, He died upon the cross. By His own power, He resurrected from the dead and ascended to the right hand of God the Father. It is there that He mediates on our behalf, having bore our transgressions, having bore our weaknesses, and having made atonement for them. His power is made perfect in our weakness! If He did not become man, if He did not bear our weaknesses, if He did not die our death, then we would surely have no hope for salvation. He did become man, He did bear our weaknesses, He did die our death, and, therefore, He can comfort us in our weakness, strengthen us in our weakness, and save us from our weakness.
Like Christ, the Christian church, as His witnesses, is to be marked by weak men and women who desperately rely upon God and His grace. Like Christ, Christians should expect to feel frail. We shouldn't be ashamed to feel like bruised reeds, ready to break at any moment. We shouldn't be ashamed to be honest with each other, and be forthcoming about the trials we are going through. If the smile is merely a façade, then are we not bearing false witness to our dear brothers and sisters? We are not willing to admit our weaknesses amongst each other, and we are not willing to believe other Christians will come beside us if we do admit our struggles.
The Christian faith is not about our perfection, but about Jesus'. The Christian faith is not an enabling of men to overcome every obstacle without faltering in their faith, but it is about Christ's life and death of perfect obedience and the Holy Spirit's work of sanctification in the lives of sinful men, conforming their lives into the image of Christ. The Christian walk is not one of ease, but one that completely relies upon the sufficiency of the suffering servant who bore our transgressions and perfectly comforts us in our weaknesses.
Instead of being a weak people who find hope in Christ, we act like a hopeful people who have no weaknesses. There's a world that surrounds us, struggling with real problems and issues. They don't observe Christians as people who are right there with them in the daily trenches, struggling with sin, hardships, calamities, and evil. They observe Christians who act like nothing can faze them, when in reality, they're just as frail, just as scared, and desperately searching for any hope and solace they can find. You don't want to tell someone who just had an awesome week how terrible your week has been. Think about that and how the world might perceive happy-go-lucky Christianity. They think, "I don't know what they're drinking, but I'll try some." They have a sip, it does not seem to have the same effect, and the move onto the next medicine.
As Christians, we are not immune to the hardships of life, and shame on us if we ever give the world the impression that we are or, worse yet, if we give our brothers and sisters the impression that they must walk as if nothing fazes them. The Apostle Paul says that he became weak so that he might win the weak. Surely, we should follow Paul's example, and become weak for Christ's sake.
Paul writes:
Are they servants of Christ? I am a better one--I am talking like a madman--with far greater labors, far more imprisonments, with countless beatings, and often near death. Five times I received at the hands of the Jews the forty lashes less one. Three times I was beaten with rods. Once I was stoned. Three times I was shipwrecked; a night and a day I was adrift at sea; on frequent journeys, in danger from rivers, danger from robbers, danger from my own people, danger from Gentiles, danger in the city, danger in the wilderness, danger at sea, danger from false brothers; in toil and hardship, through many a sleepless night, in hunger and thirst, often without food, in cold and exposure. And, apart from other things, there is the daily pressure on me of my anxiety for all the churches.
Who is weak, and I am not weak? Who is made to fall, and I am not indignant? If I must boast, I will boast of the things that show my weakness. The God and Father of the Lord Jesus, he who is blessed forever, knows that I am not lying. At Damascus, the governor under King Aretas was guarding the city of Damascus in order to seize me, but I was let down in a basket through a window in the wall and escaped his hands. (2 Corinthians 11:23-33)
Imagine asking Paul how his week went, and then getting this as a response. How would you respond? Would you think less of him as a Christian, or more of him?
I challenge myself and you to be more honest with those around you about the hardships you are facing in life. Do not be afraid or ashamed to tell me how your week really went when I ask you at church next week. Do not feel like you have to maintain a happy-go-lucky façade around me, because I know how difficult the Christian walk is. I know the hardships entailed with proclaiming Christ as your Lord and Savior. I know how hard it can be to admit that you're struggling to see God's loving grace in many facets of your life. But as weak as you and I ever are, the Lord's grace is sufficient. The weaker we are the more readily our eyes our opened to gaze upon His perfect power! Let us not seek to place a veil over Christ's power, but let us make it known to everyone around us. Yes, we'll have to act as weak as we truly are, but for Christ's sake, we must learn to grow content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and calamities. For when I am weak, then I am strong.
But God chose what is foolish in the world to shame the wise; God chose what is weak in the world to shame the strong; God chose what is low and despised in the world, even things that are not, to bring to nothing things that are, so that no human being might boast in the presence of God. And because of him you are in Christ Jesus, who became to us wisdom from God, righteousness and sanctification and redemption, so that, as it is written, "Let the one who boasts, boast in the Lord."
(1 Corinthians 1:27-31)
Since therefore the children share in flesh and blood, he himself likewise partook of the same things, that through death he might destroy the one who has the power of death, that is, the devil, and deliver all those who through fear of death were subject to lifelong slavery. For surely it is not angels that he helps, but he helps the offspring of Abraham. Therefore he had to be made like his brothers in every respect, so that he might become a merciful and faithful high priest in the service of God, to make propitiation for the sins of the people. For because he himself has suffered when tempted, he is able to help those who are being tempted. (Hebrews 2:14-18)
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