There's something therapeutic about spilling your guts. The language we use to talk about revealing secrets or withheld information is very burdensome. Get it off your chest. Lighten your load. Loosen your bonds. We're weighed down and enslaved by many things in life. We have plenty of people to talk to, but not the will or voice to talk to them about these things. We keep our worries, fears, doubts, struggles, and so much more locked and bottled up inside. We, of all people, should have no reason to be discouraged or brought low. Surely, there is no problem so heinous or burdensome that God will not hear our prayers, take us by the hand, and lift us out of the pit of pits that we have dug ourselves into. Sometimes you forget that God already knows what you're dealing with. As a Christian, He knows and He loves you anyways. He is just waiting for you to realize that He knows and that He still loves you anyways so that you will once again speak to your estranged and beloved Heavenly Father in prayer once again.
Christians get depressed too. I know. Christians get discouraged too. I know all too well.
Unfortunately, Christians are just as good at covering it up as the rest of the world. We can manage to put a smile on our face when we are with friends and family. We can purposefully neglect to tell our Christian brothers and sisters what we are struggling with when they ask how they can pray for us. We do not tell them how they can pray for us, but we only tell them that they can pray for us by providing a nice, generic, impersonal, safe request. Wouldn't want someone to actually pray for you, would you? That would be so demeaning. That would feel so belittling. How sad to think that you are only human, a sinful person, and that you need a savior. What a disaster it would be if they really prayed for you, if God really listened to their prayer, if God really answered their prayer, and God personally addressed the issues that are plaguing your life. What a disaster indeed.
Depression is not faithlessness.
Many Christians struggle with depression more than others, feeling burdened even further by believing that their depression is an act of defiance and sin against God. Some forms of depression are blatantly sinful. However, not every form of depression is necessarily sinful. For instance, I think anyone would be hard-pressed to tell a grieving widow that she is being sinful for struggling to cope with life without her husband of 50 years. Is it sinful to miss the blessings that God once gave us to enjoy? Is it a sin to be brought low by the sinfulness that surrounds us in this world and in our lives?
In fact, I am willing to argue that some Christians' struggle with depression stems from their faith rather than a lack of it. This last Lord's Day, Pastor Dave preached from Genesis 3:14-15, and taught us that the seed of the woman would crush the serpent's head but that the serpent would deal a deadly blow on his heel. We know that this speaks ultimately of Christ Jesus' death upon the cross, but it always shows us that salvation comes with a heavy price. Arguably, many of Jesus' disciples who witnessed His death on the cross believed by faith that He was the Son of God and that death could not hold Him, but nevertheless, they mourned His death.
John 20:11 tells us that Mary was weeping after she found the tomb emptied. Despite her faith in Christ for the forgiveness of her sins, she was overcome by the reality of the situation. She believed that Jesus' body had been stolen and she wept. Why couldn't Mary just reach the faithful conclusion that Christ had risen rather than be distraught by what seemed to have happened? Peter and John saw the empty tomb and believed, but Mary saw it and wept. Peter and John obviously reached a different conclusion, and they left Mary alone at the tomb as they returned to their houses.
Now stop thinking about this as a Bible story told to you in Sunday school, but rather think of the gravity of the situation Mary found herself in. Mary truly believed Jesus was the Son of God and was able to forgive her of sins. It was her faith in Christ that made this situation all the more unbearable. Despite her faith, she reached the wrong conclusion about the situation, and she could not believe that someone would steal her beloved Savior's body from the sepulcher in which it rest. In this moment of immense grief and agony, her friends who believe Christ Jesus is the Son of God see the same empty tomb and then leave her there alone with the other distraught women.
Mary looks inside the tomb, and behold, there are two angels there. Mary is still too lost in her grief to realize that something supernatural has taken place as she speaks with two heavenly creatures. They ask her why she is so distraught. Her answer is human, and it is one that many a Christian suffering from depression can relate all too well to. They have taken away my Lord, and I do not know where they have laid him. Mary faithfully believed that Jesus was her Lord. Despite her faith, however, she still did not understand how this terrible situation was actually a glorious situation.
Her depression and grief are not an act of defiance against God nor are they marked by faithlessness, but rather, her grief is so overwhelming because of who Jesus Christ is to her. Despite speaking to angelic beings in the tomb, Mary's grief is still inconsolable as a third man appears behind her. Although the man is the very Son of God resurrected behind her, Mary believes that he must be the gardener. Jesus asks Mary the same question that the angels asked her, and once again, Mary provides her response. Sir, if you have carried him away, tell me where you have laid him, and I will take him away.
Having personally struggled with depression and having struggled with it a lot recently, I can sympathize with Mary so very well. It is frustrating when you struggle with depression and you feel that you cannot talk to fellow believers about your struggles because they look down on you. They believe that you have forgotten the promises and that you have forgotten the faith in a degree. Sometimes, however, it is looking at the promises and forgetting the fulfillment of them in Christ's resurrection from the dead that causes our great depressions.
For instance, I know that besetting sins can really start to depress me. When I wake up day after day, setting out to be faithful to God, to obey His Law because I love Him, to seek to mortify the deeds of my flesh, to kill the old man and put on the new man, but go to sleep night after night realizing that I succumbed to temptation and had no victory over my sins that day, I begin to spiral down into depression. Like Mary, I see an empty tomb and believe my Savior's body has been stolen rather than believing that He has risen from death. I see and know the promises, but I am so caught up in my physical, present reality that I fail to contemplate God's power, authority, love, and grace.
I have gotten depressed because I begin to backslide in my faith. I begin to forget that Christ has risen, and all I can think about is how I can retrieve his stolen body and return it to the tomb. My dear, dear Savior! Someone has taken him from here. Where have they taken him? Where can I find him? How can I return him to this place?
I think every Christian has had a similar moment to Mary's. Christ stands before us as the risen savior, but our distress and our depression disguise him to our eyes. We do not see the truth, but our depression causes us to see what we want to see. We have forgotten about grace, we have forgotten about Christ's resurrection, and all we can think about is His death. Our sins, our miserable sins have done this! Mary was released from the bondage of sin and seven demons by Christ Jesus, and she heard Jesus pronounce good news of the kingdom along with the other twelve disciples. Unlike the twelve, however, Mary did not hide while her Lord hung upon the cross, but she stood by the cross and witnessed her Savior's death.
Every man, woman, and child is responsible for the crucifixion of our Lord. It was our sins, our disobedience, our rebellion against God that required His sacrifice. It is good to remember this. It is good to remember that Christ became a curse for us, bearing our sins upon the cross and receiving God's just wrath for them in our place. It is good to know that Jesus died for our sins. But that is only half of Christ's sacrifice.
The serpent would love nothing more than for us to constantly feel the burden and guilt for Christ's death on the cross, the mortal bruise he dealt the seed of the woman. Satan loves to gloat and to remind us that we helped him kill the Son of God. Nothing is more satisfying to Satan than to lead a Christian to believe that his sins placed Christ upon the cross to die, and then leave the believer with the burden of Christ's death. So distraught by guilt and sorrow, we arrive to the empty tomb and forget about the resurrection. We dwell upon the death of Christ, and although He stands behind us, we look for His dead body. We cannot find it, and we are depressed and distraught. Where has my savior gone? He has died my death, he has bore my guilt upon the cross, he has been buried, and I must display my love for him by taking care of his corpse. Where have you taken him so that I can take him away and return him?
Mary. That's all He said. That's all He's ever had to say. Doubtless, to Mary, Jesus did not merely just say her name. The gardener knew her, and knew her intimately. Jesus did not only call her by the title she bore in this world, but Jesus called her by the name written down in His book of life. He called a name that conveyed that the person calling her name did not only know who she was but knew her better than she knew herself. This could not be anyone other than her beloved Lord! The tears abated, and joy overfilled Mary abundantly. Mary, for the first time, saw her Savior resurrected from the grave. Mary, and the women that were with her at the tomb, were in fact the first people to see Christ resurrected (although they were not the first to believe His resurrection).
As a Christian, struggling with sin and disbelief can be depressing. Especially if we arrive at the tomb where the sacrificial Lamb who bore our sins to the grave rests and we find it empty. The cross is not only where Christ bore your sins, but it is also where He gave you new life. Christ did not just give you a clean slate at the cross, but He gave us so much more! God gave us forgiveness, reconciliation, and union with Jesus Christ at the cross, so that through Christ we might have access to our Heavenly Father, who we are now children of! The Son of God's Father is now our Father. Jesus' God is now our God. As long as we are resting in Christ by faith, believing that He became the propitiation for our sins upon the cross, then we must also believe by faith that He resurrected and we are united to Him in everlasting life too.
Depressed Christians dwell too much upon the crucifixion of Christ and not enough upon the resurrection of our Lord. We are all too aware of the cost of our sins, but we do not open our eyes to see the glory of Christ's overcoming the death He bore for our sakes.
A Christian widow who mourns the death of her husband of fifty years has every reason to mourn that great gift of God that God has removed from her life. How long shall she mourn? What if she mourns for two weeks? Two months? Two years? She has reason to mourn, because sin has brought death into this world. However, she must hear the words of her beloved Savior: Why are you weeping? There is a time for laughter and a time for weeping. Jesus wept. There is nothing wrong with grieving. However, it is when our grief turns to hopelessness that depression begins to kick in. It is when we believe but we desperately need God to help our unbelief. Depression is when we can see the cross by faith but we cannot see our resurrected and ascended Savior by faith. Depression is when we are fixated upon the physical world that surrounds us with eyes of faith, but neglect the heavenly reality revealed to us in the Scriptures. We see sin for what it is, we see evil for what it is, we experience pain, we experience sorrow, and we feast upon our tears. We see the same empty tomb that others find joy in, but all we can seem to find is grief.
The next time you're served the Lord's Supper, examine yourself. Is this a meal of grief or a meal of joy for you? It ought to be both. Most precious blood was spilled and the body of Christ was broken for you. Remember Christ's death. Paul says that as often as you eat the bread and drink the cup you proclaim the Lord's death until he comes! Christ died, and yet he comes! This is the abounding hope we all share in the cross. When we get depressed, we tend to forget in the resurrection of the dead, the second coming of Christ, and eternal life in Him. We lose our hope in eternal life because of our temporal experience with pain and death consumes us.
Christians get depressed too, but the best medicine for the depressed believer is the Gospel of Jesus Christ and steadfast prayer.
"Then I saw a new heaven and a new earth, for the first heaven and the first earth had passed away, and the sea was no more. And I saw the holy city, new Jerusalem, coming down out of heaven from God, prepared as a bride adorned for her husband. And I heard a loud voice from the throne saying, 'Behold, the dwelling place of God is with man. He will dwell with them, and they will be his people, and God himself will be with them as their God. He will wipe away every tear from their eyes, and death shall be no more, neither shall there be mourning, nor crying, nor pain anymore, for the former things have passed away.'"
(Revelation 21:1-4)
Please leave a comment. Tell us about your experiences with depression as a Christian, and share passages of Scripture that helped you find joy in your trials and tribulations. Thank you.
